92 Comments

How to Rhyme Like Lil Wayne In 10 Simple Steps

Read this it’s extremely funny….But It’s a joke So Don’t Fuckin Take It Seriously….I got this from somewhere else…L

1. Pick a Verb. Preferably a verb about running away from the law or from an assailant. I.E. Duck, Run, Dodge or maybe Stop, Drop or Roll. Lil’ Wayne LOVES stopping, dropping and rolling. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

2. Connnect the verb to some sort of simile. This is crucial. Every single Lil’ Wayne line must contain some sort of relatively obvious simile. So maybe you can “duck like Scrooge.” “Run like a bloody nose.” Or even “Dodge like Kansas.” You can do metaphors but try to steer away from doing this too often, lest people think that you are a different ghost-writer. That is bad. Also for bonus points talk about how “sweet” you are. Lil’ Wayne loves talking about being sweet like a Tahitian Treat or some other delicacy high in sucrose.

3. Mention “Slanging Keys.” This is crucial to establish street cred. Don’t pay attention to the fact that Lil’ Wayne’s been famous since 12 and the only thing he knows about slangin’ is that he speaks with it. After all, if you don’t talk drugs how else can you impress the translucent Dairy Queen-white music critics. This way they can also compare you to the Wire. (Just remember to connect all that “slanging keys” talk with a simile).

4. Declare that you are Weezy F. Baby. This will tell listeners who you are. Sure, they probably already know, but adding The “F” in the middle of the name uncertainly adds to Wayne’s level of class. It makes him seem like F. Scott Fitzgerald. Exactly like F. Scott Fitzgerald. Whatever you do, don’t attempt to ascertain what the “F” stands for. That my friends is a slippery slope. And whatever you do, don’t think about what the “F” stands for while looking at a picture of Wayne and Baby making out.

5. Talk about hustling. Music critics love hustling. Presumably, they are devotees to the energetic style of basketball popularized by players like Ben Wallace, Kurt Rambis and Mark Madsen. This will make them feel at home. If there’s anything music writers know about, it’s hustling.

6. Talk about Baby. Call him your Daddy. Forget the fact that he’s not actually your Daddy. Forget the fact that the majority of people that call other men “daddy” are prostitutes. It’s unimportant. Mention something that Baby told you. Maybe that he told you “these b*tches is b*tches.” Or that he told you to “Turn around and stick out.” (Maybe, he was just quoting Sir-Mix-A-Lot.) Ignore the fact that you call a man named “Baby,” “Daddy.” Let’s just chalk that up to being a New Orleans thing.

7. Make some sort of obvious pop culture technology reference. Talk about IPods. Or Myspace. Or gigabytes. Something remotely technological. It will show that Wayne is not completely retarded (just partially) and might have actually read a newspaper once or twice. Which clearly means he is a genius.

8. Talk about how poorly you treat women. Perhaps you can claim how you’ll “never love a b*tch.” Or how you’ll “never give a ho a damn thing.” The more misogynistic the better. This will definitely do much to steer people away from those nasty “gay” rumors.

9. Apropos to nothing, make some sort of remark about Hurricane Katrina. No need to bother making it have anything to do with the rest of the verse. After all, never underestimate white liberal guilt. Any sort of name-dropping will make white liberals feel bad and they will forget the fact that Wayne is a multi-millionaire and anoint him the voice of the people. Also, be sure to make wild ridiculous conspiracy theories like claiming that you heard George Bush blew up the levees. The more absurd the better. Go for it.

10. Proclaim yourself the “Greatest Rapper Alive.” Forget the Fact that Wayne would be lucky to be included in a list of the Top 20 rappers working right now. Most music critics haven’t listened to Hip Hop Made Before 1999 anyway (other than Public Enemy). If you proclaim yourself the greatest, you will be the greatest. Or at least people will be foolish enough to buy this canard.

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About L Boogz

All we want is be treated as human beings.

92 comments on “How to Rhyme Like Lil Wayne In 10 Simple Steps

  1. And yes indeed they are foolish to think he’s the best, I’m in the South and having to listen to ignorant rap fans saying he’s the best is hell on earth.

  2. BX STAND UP. That was funny reading. 1. wayne is TRASH. 2. I hope JAY-Z comes after that fagget and finish him like mobb deep. 3. what grown man calls another rapper his daddy(baby) from cash money. 4. The only rappin he do,is when he wraps his lips around baby’s C–k!!!

  3. i think a hater can be described as someone who can’t stand to see another man succeed, and have fun doing it.

    everyone is always so quick to discredit Wayne, but no one is making any suggestions as to who is the best out. i have been a fan of rap and hip hop music for many years, and i probably know way more than most of these knuckleheads. i will agree with many people when they say that Wayne is not the best rapper ever, but i will defend that fact that he is the best rapper doin’ it.

    He releases anywhere from 3 to 4 mixtapes a year and somehow still manages to find time to collaborate on various artist’s tracks, learn the guitar and put out his own album. He has been at this game for years now, and not only deserves respect, but demands it in my opinion.

    As far as the whole ghost writer thing goes, that’s just ridiculous. Has anyone who posted a comment, or even wrote this article listened to DJ Drama’s Dedication 2, or the SQ 7 album which is pretty much a 32 minute freestyle?

    Now go ahead and call me a dick rider, or whatever makes you feel better about hatin’ on somebody. But i’ll just call myself a loyal fan!

  4. Damn why can’t a person not like something…WITHOUT being called a hater? To me wayne is trash….He needs to stop the whole “I’m a blood thing” Or the whole “baby is my daddy” and start rapping. Not a hater just a person who is not feeling wayne….Being a human I can have my opinion right?????

    • Start rapping? He is rapping, and most of the time is making creative anologies and metaphors.
      He could rap like Nicki Minaj and throw in random words, just to make things rhyme in every song.

    • no your not its soowhoop nigga its bloods all day and your a fuck ass hater and I hope you die

  5. he aint good and he aint bad…i just dont listen to him. People gas him to much and dick ride him like he the best rapper cause everyone listens to him…buncha lil niggas who follow other people. What ever happend to jim jones booty ass? eveyone was on his dick with the “ballin!” came out. Now they moved on to lil wayne, whos next? Bow Wow?…shit is sickening. and yea he been in the game for quite awhile but what about the rappers that demands ALOT more respect like AZ? My nigga Raekwon? thats the reason why alot of people say he aint shit and his music is garbage and just because you put out 30-50 mixtapes with the same booty ass songs dont mean you tha best…lol dumb niggas…

  6. I didnt write it….I got it from somewhere else …I did think it was funny though

  7. ya all corny

  8. It was funny and the fact that people stand up for him is crazy. FYI ask Wayne what happen to the Phantom in LIL Haiti, wasn’t claiming Bloods then.

  9. @#4 the best out is the Ghostface Killaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! Kiddies go cop tha new Monch album.

  10. […] How to Rhyme Like Lil Wayne In 10 Simple Steps. […]

  11. Damn, Talk about Facts! Good post L. They should do A Clifford one Next.

    #11. Borrow Whoopi’s Wig.

    Hey Assholes! Read the Top where L Told you NOT TO TAKE IT SERIOUSLY.

  12. i posted my reply earlier today, but it was in no way intended towards L. i thought the article was funny. i’m not trying to start beef or nothing, but i just feel a certain way about some music i listen to.

    i agree the new Monch album is real nice, along with a lot of new stuff. i just feel a certain way about what’s goin down in the game right now. i was also posting my opinion.

    everyone is entitled to their opinion.
    it’s just the internet ya’ll. have fun!

  13. ^^^^^^^^True that! I practiced what I preached, and copped the new Monch album today.

    @#12 There are only 2 steps you gotta follow if you wanna rap like Clifford; get drunk and start talking.

  14. ^^^No pun taken people…Its all good…L

  15. Lol that shit wuz def funny, we aint southern niggaz but mah bro love lil wayne but even though it sayz dont take it seriously he def does rap like that LMAO

  16. Yo for real…….Lets cut all this dumb shit out about this lil wayne nigga! Let the record show that he just got hot after the first Carter album(dickriding notion #1). And all of you all of a sudden lil wayne fans started saying he is nice. Now do your history….U KNOW HE DONT REALLY RHYME LIKE THAT! GILLY DA KID>…is the creator of that style. HE taught wayne how to say the rhymes he wrote for him….lil wayne locked himself in the studio and did it over and over. Now it made him hot…he ran with it and said fuck GILLY WHO? Gilly da Kid from the Rap group Major Figgas! If you dudes remember!,,,,HE was running around with JRWriter and Luca Brazi from uptown….stealing all the swagger. I Quote “AND I MOVE LIKE THE COUPE THRU TRAFFIC/RUSH HOUR GT BENT ROOF IS ABSENT/YA GIRL PRESENT WITH THE MUSIC BLASTING/SHE KEEP ASKING ,HOW IT SHOOT IF ITS PLASTIC?/I SAID YOU SEE IF YA BOY(PHILLY DRAWN PROCOUNCED LKE HE SAID IT BO(SILENT R)RUN UP/SHE SAT BACK AND CUT THE CARTER BACK UP..UH FA SHO. SO yeah…he got swag with it, but he not paying homage and got the world foold like he got nice over night! YEah right

  17. alright so maybe he never moved keys or whatever but the amount of music that hes put out in the past two years in comparision to any other artist out there is rediculous. i cant respect rappers who are consistently putting out mixtapes or getting on every remix to any popular song, wayne is the best rapper alive

  18. i was just on google and i came across this but he is the best u would have to meet him in person and some songs be fake some of the he really do be talkin about real stuff that happened in his life or in the world

  19. […] you somehow missed the How To Rhyme Like Weezy post you gotta check […]

  20. Aight. heres whats up with weezy. i dont plan on calling anyone who likes him a dickrider or anyone who doesnt a hater. He spits his rhymes in ways that are catchy. People have fun listening to his music, regardless of how clever some of the things he says really are. I would never put down Wayne because I love his music for the same reasons others do. Nothing he says is really that influential as to compare to him to the real greats like Tupac, Biggie, Eminem, Rakim, or Nas, but here it is straight up. He is ther realest rapper of his time. Aint nobody gettin on everybody’s beats and makin hotter rhymes than they did but him. Hes a workaholic is what he is. He averages 3 mixtapes a year and still has come out with a few fullfledged albums, not to mention gettin on verses and verses of hot #1 songs with everybody else. He made 786 verses in 2007 alone, more than half of them most likely freestyled. Now as far as the best rapper alive, if in saying that he means of active rappers, maybe. I actually enjoy some of Lupe Fiasco’s raps more than any Wayne song. But its hard to compare the two since Lupe is still young in the game. If hes saying alive literally, not so much. Last time I checked, Eminem still has a pulse, Wayne will never touch Eminem in my opinion. Theres also others like Tech N9ne and Immortal Technique who most people who actually take time to listen to the stories in there songs would say are way better than weezy. Heres my main concern with Wayne lately tho, he seems to just be rapping about how good of a rapper he is. This is getting a little old. Maybe he should get shot at or something to give him another 2 years of material.

  21. XEN NIGHTZ already fucked weezy up in a freestyle.

  22. Screw all the haters, hating on my fiance, weezy is THE best rapper alive!

  23. ha dis is funny but your nothing but a hater and i dont hear or see you making something of yourself and inspiring young people to follow your dreams and if you actually listen to dwayne carter you will hear what i hear and this should encourage him to keep doing what hes doing:)notice that his tittle is the best rapper alive because he knows that he was insprired to do what he does and that if some of the legends from the past such as tupac.biggie.and many more he wouldnt have that tittle…this just shows ignorance among talent:)

  24. I think that people generalize the term hater, and dick rider. Many of my friends listen to “Weezy F. Baby” and i ask them why, and they call him a GENIUS. I never knew geniuses rapped about tasting like lollipops. Sorry i dont like Wayne, and he destroys what hip hop is today, all of the elements of hip hop are gone, yes GONE, except for the rap, and we destroyed that too. I remember when rap wasnt like it was right now, it was something to do, not to make money. before anybody starts talkin shit i suggest they just study hip hop a little more, then they will see why lil wayne is so frowned upon. And like my friend told me, “Why you listening to the song, all you have to do is hear it” Just to show how ignorant even the fans are.

  25. Lil Wayne already got MURDERED by Xen Nightz TWICE! after hearin those disses i dont think lil wayne can ever recover.

  26. yo ballin fucker, u shut da fuc up who da fuck r u 2 about lil wayne da craziest rapper in town nagga u got to come da fuc down y u bein pussy

  27. Yea it was cute. my friends call me a-eezy s. babyy. weezy is a great rapper. xen nightz totally dissed him in a wrong way. he kissed a man for respect not for homosexuality sake. god get ur facts straight he is not gay.

  28. ok lemme try..
    weezy baby babyface not kenny edmonds/i’m like jeebs from men in black cuz i got many weapons/n i’m fly so fly i can view the heavens

    i tell a bitch banana,oj and toast wit my cereal/dumb bitch i gotta teach her, a smack for a silly hoe

    no teacher but i’ma keep ur girl after school/n she put her hand on my snake like cleopatra do

    i’ll take her, her ass is too fat for u/nigga gimme that weed! that blunt is too fat for u/bitch niggas i’ll eat u n shit u out, yep i’ll white castle u

    my shine like the sun, got UV rays/a holiday weekend last like 3 days/nigga i could kill u in more than 3 ways

    u could go real quick i’ma make sure u be hurtin/body look like a sprinkler the way the blood squirtin

    U niggas ain’t ballin like ME, Gatorade want me to do commercials/wats in my cup is purple n i sip it like a baby(gerber)/u need a telescope to see my visa cuz its universal

    gotchu a couple bottles by the bar u sittin comfy but i be lurkin/i buy the bar out kill ya bill like Uma Thurman. Weezy!

  29. Lil Wayne needs to rap like how he used to during the Carter 1, 2, and dedication mixtape days. This singing rapping style isn’t cutting it. But he already has the young audience hooked. They don’t know any better. And Lil Wayne will never be the best rapper alive as long as Jay Z lives. Jay Z became the best doing it the right way. No gimmicks, just real ass lyrics. And they’re true lyrics. Wayne could only wish to accomplish what jay did. And yall gotta stop forgeting bout Jay in this rap game.

  30. overall lil wayne is rich.
    Like he quoted once “if you anit ridin fly ,well you’ll
    might has well hate.”
    or mabe let me here you come out with an album, see how much yo sell. lol !zzzzz

  31. alot of retards cant figure out the difference from an hater and a opinion , A opinion is if you say “i dont like this/ i love this ” without trying to express hate , which a hater does A hater is a inviduial who use verbal abuse , as “fuck this nigga hes TRASH , fuck this nigga hes GARBAGE ” Thats HATIN and NOT A opinion you fucking retards. if you wanna express your opinion do it without verbal abuse, come on forreal , we learned all this in fucking 3rd grade , you fucking morrons .
    PS: for the retards who still belive what gillie is saying , nigga please that nigga couldnt write souljaboys rhymes

    • Well its funny because Gillie did accualy write carter 1,2 so he couldnt write soulja boys rhymes cuz he was too busy devoloping waynes flow my Main ur Right about the Opinions and Writers though

  32. fuck all playhaters lili weezy is th bomb,he is the best rapper eva,even ourpresident R. Mugabe of Zimbabwe, used wanyes lines in his speech,even the pop i-pod got lil weezy j0int ifeel like dying, all play haters u can crack it lyk my weezy f baby. ilove u bro in zim streets u dominate,like dust in the ghetto, u kill lyk the ripper,weezy f baby shit is hot lyk play hatters shit. iwarn u beeshes wezy is the futere,the next M.J. the reborned Lutherking. damn im out

  33. ijfisogjklfnjsdvsdj bjfhjghklfhsdk gfhkhgfkhiuyguifhsjafdsjghdfjkh;sdjhgkjfkjbgkjfgkbajkfhjkahgjklhfjbkbgfhgfklj;sdkjgoiyoiyihgjfuygiufpioiuigyufiyhvbuibgjvcjkxzl

  34. Uhm…uhm…uhm..hahahahahahahWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..whoo..it just brings tears to my eyes to see the state of hip hop..i think robert mugabe dope!

  35. I don’t know what all ya’ll complaining about.. Hater’s hate… What are you all getting worked up about.. they just doing their job.

  36. Ok, everything was funny until #6.

    I’m from New Orleans, and NOBODY calls people “Daddy” the way Lil Wayne does to Baby. When I read “Let’s just chalk that up to being a New Orleans thing” it instantly became the most idiotic statement I’ve ever read in 2008 (And I read the blog where Kanye thought that Soulja Boy was true Hip-Hop.) Don’t ever fucking compare how one person speaks to how an entire city speaks ever again.

  37. dang yo so many hatin niggas in one spot. you know they say ‘hate makes you great’…….yall proved it

  38. on some rea shit. diss is proof dis shit works.

    its lil trace spittin, yea nigga retard flow
    come to my crib bet it look like a car show
    i control the game, manopally dont pass go
    try me and imma bust a nigga like saits row
    money piled high past the sky, now tell me whats the limit
    and if u want beef ding ding nigga come and get it
    new shit, im gunna spit it, so new i just shitted
    state ur case wit me and for ya life it can be acquitted

  39. it looks like in number 2 , you talked about liberals and bush and too much politics, youre straying away from what you were doing to be bias, not to mention everyone in the same city as wayne isnt as dumb as he is, i bet you think they all look like wayne lol

  40. Lil wayne is prolly the best rapper alive right now. his music flows. and he has the sickest voice ever.
    Good job wayne.. you doing good.

  41. That was Funny Shit!………..

  42. It’s hard to immitate how Lil Wayne raps.. He sings from the heart.. Never memorizes…can anybody do that naturally…hmmmmm…..

    • sings from the heart?? well nigga needs to come up with a new heart song cuz all his shit sounds the same all these people defending him are funny….listen to all his songs its all the same shit reworded with a different beat and repacked and sold to niggas like you who eat that shit up..wake up kid hip hop is dying its up to true lyricist to bring it back to what it was REAL…lil wayne needs to stfu with his garbage generic crap

  43. all the hate(opinions) against weezy just shows the ignorance of these kids. if you ever actually sat down and listened to the rhymes and not just the music, everything syncs, is interconnected, and true. he has the flow that any rapper would kill to have, to simply go in on any beat and demolish it, and you wanna say he’s whack? but then i guess when youre broke its easy to hate on someone makin bank off of their setbacks. its called get you a fucking back bone and get out there hustlin. and news flash, weezy’s more blood than some truely initiated bloods. you fucks think uptown is just a joke? some fake club set up to rep blood but not be real blood, niggas get killed for that shit. wayne’s a true hustler in all senses of the term, “now get off his dick and get lost in Aruba”.

  44. I love this website, the information is great and I have bookmarked it in my favorites. This is a well organized and informative website. Great Job!

  45. i like everything bout lil wayne,hes my nigga everyday i look up to him listening to his songs,men him and eminem is good so fuck yall niggas

  46. buncha dick riders and haters. my favorite rapper ever is pac and in my opinion nas is the best alive. but i cant sit there and really say wayne is trash and says the same shit yadda yadda yadda. he’s a talented artist whos unique, witty, and consistent. but haters gon hate. in the same breath, he aint the best. i wouldnt put him on a top 10 all time. he do got some tracks that are jus wtf was he doin. he’s got the potential tho. but dick riders gon dick ride. at the end of the day, all you haters jus sit there and complain, booing from the sidelines but thats easy to do when you aint in the game. and the dick riders, get a life and hop off

  47. hug uy u84747 dieewsdidoikjv78678w47485d6cv ghesdvbxn

  48. U guys r al fucken idiots.. Too b honest lil waynes clearly the best rapper alive maybe you guys think his shit cause u don’t listen to his music and know not a dam thing about rap u fagets.. And why don’t you listen to the carter 3 and then decide who’s the best rapper alive you guys r idiots!!

  49. Go download the documentry of lil wayne and you have a change in mind

  50. its funny how all yall wana talk shit about wayne but how many CD’s have you made that sold 1 million records the first week ?? or how many of yall can afford to buy teeth that cost more than 3 of your houses combined?? im juz sayin before yall go tlkin shit sale sum music and make sum money then yur opinion will matter

  51. ERBODI sHUT UPPP

  52. u u’ll niggas sick WEEZY is hot,talanted nd sure is da bst rapper alive i love hm no 1 fan

  53. are u fuckin serious how do iu rap like him i tried but it is hard as fuckk

  54. look point blank period lil wayne has rapped since the age of twelve are you fucking me lil wayne was a millionare at age twelve i dont care about tha kiss look at kanye he stole the mic okay weezy proved the fact he can do anything since the rebirth he raps and does rock how the fuck yeah how duh fuck rite look weezy rock album out sold drake ha look i get signed to cash money next year so look out young honcho kid ive been in tha studio wit twizzy and chuckie so please dnt tlk shit bout my boss

  55. guys who aint feeling weezy.call me on 0754567841.i got better flow

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  58. I want to being like lil wayne?

  59. He is not and he can never be the best. For those saying he is the best should go and think ahead.

    • fuck u pusy ass niggers u shuld do you. lilwayne is the fucking best rapper alive. i dont give a fuck if yo mama thinks so or not

  60. Im not saying wayne is the best or that he’s in any way better than any other rapper, but out of all the mainstream rappers he has the most money, most albums sold, and most of all so many fans that ten rappers put together still would not have as many fans! Which means that every one accept you hatterz loves lil wayne by majority vote!

  61. How to Rhyme Like Lil Wayne In Ten Simple Steps

  62. OMG that entire story and the missed the biggest element???? End every line in nigga, that way they will always rhyme. Does it have to make any sense? No. Do you have to even remotely follow any laws of grammar? No. Do you have to pronounce words correctly? No. Can you just make up words? YES. Don’t forget to steal melodies and hooks from real artists because you don’t have a shred of a shred of talent. Good thing there are tons of illiterate idiots out there to buy your crap.

  63. Lil Weezy is just too good

  64. I say your all bitches my nigga wayne on point but chief keef were it at and if you got a problem you can get your ass wacked

  65. Thy forgot the step where he rhymes everything with nigga.

  66. yall juss bitches,wayne is tha greatest rapper alive.he like ah…ah…king oh hip hop

  67. i get your points but man i gatta say, this joke cracked me up high”1. Pick a Verb. Preferably a verb about
    running away from the law or from an
    assailant. I.E. Duck, Run, Dodge or maybe Stop,
    Drop or Roll. Lil’ Wayne LOVES stopping,
    dropping and rolling. Not that there’s
    anything wrong with that.”

  68. Indeed wayne is the best,listen lil-tunechi has rhymes,he talks about pussy,he has metaphors,no body has rhymes like wayne.

  69. Wayne never talk shit i think u guys talk tha dam shit and dont know any thing about hiphop.

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